


Blackbird

by afrocurl



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-25
Updated: 2007-05-25
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2148960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fallout a bitch, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackbird

**Author's Note:**

> Written as the [](http://vmwhat-if.livejournal.com/profile)[**vmwhat_if**](http://vmwhat-if.livejournal.com/) of [Falling Down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/77392l). The actual what if is after the fic. Thanks to [](http://starxd-sparrow.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://starxd-sparrow.livejournal.com/)**starxd_sparrow** for the beta and support all along. At this point, all mistakes are my own.

It had been three weeks since he’d been forced to talk about his father. It had also three weeks since Veronica had to confront the story of Cassidy’s murderous rampage and her rape. On some days, Logan hadn’t noticed that any time had passed at all, while on others, the time moved achingly slow, reminding him of how much Neptune sucked away any remaining happiness he had. The air of the Mars apartment circulated slowly, but he always sensed that the small space was stifling he and Veronica.

Following their interviews with Lamb, Logan had been hard pressed to get Veronica to talk about her interview, and she’d rebuff his attempts at that conversation. If he’d thought about it more, even, Logan could almost swear that Veronica was just hiding more and more as the days went on. She closed herself off for hours at a time, leaving him to sit on the couch watching TV with Backup.

As Logan sat quietly on the Mars couch, he wondered what he could do to move past the interview—and the pain—of June 3, 2006.

-*-

Veronica retreated into herself after the interview with Lamb. She wasn’t sure how she could explain to anyone the exact nature of what had transpired in that room without prompting either man in her life to seek out the Sheriff’s life.

She knew that Logan was trying his best to broach the subject, but her stubbornness continued to win out and she refused to say a word.

_Keep your head up, Mars._

Time alone provided her the only chance to not have to relive either December 7, 2003 or June 3, 2006.

Avoiding Logan was a necessary evil to maintain her sanity, and it bothered Veronica, but not enough for her to come out of her room and socialize with him.

-*-

“Want to head out to La Jolla?” Logan asked one day, growing weary of the prospect of sitting on the couch all day long once again. He was growing tired of the routine, and he was sure that Veronica read it in his expression. After all, he made no attempt to hide it.

“Nah,” she replied, busying herself in the kitchen, trying to avoid the impending conversation.

“Veronica, we never go out. I think we need it.”

“I’m fine, Logan.”

“You may be fine, but _I_ need to leave the apartment.”

“Then go,” she commented snidely. “No one’s keeping you here.”

He sighed heavily. “I know that. But we need _some_ fun this summer.” He patted the space next to him on the couch, hoping to tempt Veronica over to him and away from her perch of avoidance.

She walked over to him slowly, keeping a careful six inches between them when she sat down. The space crackled with awkward tension, and neither knew what to do in the moment.

As the silence grew between them, Logan started to fidget with the frayed piping at the edge of the cushion.

“We need to talk, Veronica.”

“’Bout what?” she shrugged her shoulders in confusion.

“Us,” he replied calmly. “What are we doing?”

“Sitting on my couch, not _doing_ anything.”

He sighed. “No, Veronica, that’s not what I was talking about. I mean, _us_ , as a couple.”

Realization dawned on her before she spoke. “I didn’t think there was an _us_ , Logan.”

“There’s not, but I’m here all the time, and there was still that whole deal graduation night.”

“I know, Logan. I really do want to thank you for everything you did that night,” she replied emphatically.

“Then, why don’t we try to start over again?” He looked directly into her eyes, trying to convey how much he longed to be able to connect with her again. Slowly, he moved his right hand to rest on her knee.

She shuddered at the touch. “Logan…I…can’t,” she said hesitantly. “It’s too soon. After…” she left the rest of the comment hang in the air.

Nodding slightly, Logan understood what she meant. _I’m not over Cassidy._ A moment later, he removed his hand from her knee. Without a second glance, he moved off the couch and out the door.

She was left alone in her apartment as the sound of the clicking door echoed throughout the small space.

-*-

Logan wandered around Dog Beach as he tried to process his life. She’d rejected him, again, even after all he’d done for her those three intervening weeks.

The ocean air played with his shirt and cargo shorts, blowing them against his body. The wind carried him down the shore, and he didn't have to focus on the sand beneath his feet or the waves crashing to his right.

_You can’t always get what you want._

The solace the ocean normally imparted did nothing to help Logan’s mood, so he left the beach and drove towards downtown.

-*-

He didn’t return to the Mars' apartment that night, choosing instead to go back to his room at the Neptune Grand to recollect his thoughts.

The hallway to his room echoed strangely as he walked into his suite for the first time since that night. After so many days away, it felt so strange and unfamiliar—just like it did the night he moved in back in November.

As he reacquainted himself with his room, his thoughts kept returning to Veronica and what she was trying to protect herself from this time.

Cassidy and any of the remaining fears she’d had from high school were washed away, but Logan sensed that she was unable to forget the past—parties, taunts, rumors.

Falling asleep later, his mind was still focused on Veronica’s inability to forget the past.

He woke the next morning achingly hard and confused by his body’s reaction to his thoughts.

The scalding hot shower did nothing to relieve his brain or his body, leaving him more frustrating then when he entered.

-*-

Veronica worried about him from the minute her door clicked shut the day before. Unsure of how to proceed with her life, she sulked for the day. Her introverted nature had just ruined her tenuous relationship with Logan. _Why do you have to run?_

Midnight fell on the apartment, and Keith forced her into her room for some sleep. Instead of closing her eyes, however, she laid on top of her bed, thinking of _him_. His hands wrapped around her protectively, holding her tight as she cried into his chest.

Images filled her brain, taking over her thoughts as she drifted off.

When she woke, her right hand was still cradled between her thighs, sticky from her unconscious ministrations.

 _Time to face the truth, Mars_.

She hurried herself around the house, trying to dispel the conflicting signals in her brain.

-*-

He took three days alone in the suite before he called her. In those days, he’d managed to subsist on vodka and the mini-bar.

Once he felt able to talk to her, he sat up against the couch staring at his phone. He imagined what he’d say, and how it would play out, and how she’d reject him _again_ , leaving him alone and empty.

He dialed the phone, nervously waiting for her to pick up.

“’Lo?” she asked groggily.

“’Ronica.”

“Logan. Where have you been?” she asked, her voice shaky.

“Grand. Nowhere else for me to go,” he replied flatly.

Tears started to slide down her face at the frankness of his words. “You could have come back here, Logan,” she implored.

“Right. I’m welcome to stay at your apartment as long as I don’t mention that I want to be in a relationship with you. That’s _just_ what I needed right now,” he gritted out, the strain in his voice obvious.

He heard her sigh on her end of the conversation. “That’s not what I meant, Logan,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry,” escaped her lips moments later, barely audible to his ears.

“Huh?” he asked.

With a shaky voice, she replied, “I said I’m sorry, Logan. I know I’ve been distant.”

“Understatement of the year, ‘Ronica.”

“I guess. I’m just not ready to move on. Cassidy scared the shit out of me.”

“I totally get that, and I’m not saying that we have to do anything you’re not ready for, but I _need_ someone. You’re all I’ve got left.”

“That’s not true, Logan. There’s Dick…”

“Who’s little brother I forced off a roof. Not forging the bonds of friendship right there.”

She sat still for a moment, trying to think of something to say. Nothing came to her, despite her brain running on overdrive.

“Sorry, Logan.”

“For what?”

“I never thanked you for that night.”

“Oh. No problem,” he said bashfully.

“Come home,” she breathed.

“Give me fifteen minutes.”

**Author's Note:**

> My What if was: What if Logan started to push for a relationship and Veronica started to distance herself from him?


End file.
